someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
