there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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