this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All the doctor said was why
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
