A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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