No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
