it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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