He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
