"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
