The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I supernannyed him into submission
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
