You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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