I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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