When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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