i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
