so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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