I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just google imaged poop.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
