Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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