I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize