Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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