belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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