dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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