let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
