Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
