If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
someone threw a dead crab at me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
