So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
