I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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