How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
