Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
