How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
