It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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