so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You can't special order awesome
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
