I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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