Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I cut my penus on the lid.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
