Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
