I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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