ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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