Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize