I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
