I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
