so that wasnt chicken after all
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
