I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The best revenge is premature balding
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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