i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
