Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(908): Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too. http://tfl.nu/4y2n

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(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

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(479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga

Replies (11) Good night (1367) Bad night (3680)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.

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(416): I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover. http://tfl.nu/3ouv

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(303): View more from Colorado

GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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(303): GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car. http://tfl.nu/jp7a

Replies (14) Good night (894) Bad night (4201)
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(925): View more from California

Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

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(925): Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor. http://tfl.nu/43q5

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(514): View more from Quebec

It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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(514): It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get.. http://tfl.nu/agd7

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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(303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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(608): and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test http://tfl.nu/8oo5

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.

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(218): I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent. http://tfl.nu/0vft

Replies (25) Good night (2253) Bad night (635)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.

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(217): I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well. http://tfl.nu/junb

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(917): View more from New York City

it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome

(1-917): View more from New York City

second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?

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(917): it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome (1-917): second-hand sex is fun, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/9p74

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(909): View more from California

I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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(909): I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji... http://tfl.nu/rxc7

Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (227)
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(760): View more from California

Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.

(818): View more from California

That was one of the best texts I got today

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(760): Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner. (818): That was one of the best texts I got today http://tfl.nu/vb5p

Replies (7) Good night (1581) Bad night (256)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?

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(505): Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it? http://tfl.nu/czl6

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(425): View more from Washington

Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out

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(425): Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out http://tfl.nu/jvnh

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