Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I want a musical about memes.