Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.