i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
