So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
