whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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