I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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