Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
