the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
