Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
