I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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