Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
