I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
