He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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