If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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