im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
