that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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