i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
