i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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